On Fear and Friendship
Did you ever know someone to pass out cold from stage fright? I did. An old boyfriend of mine once fainted at an audition for an Off-Broadway play. While taking slow, deep breaths to calm his nerves as he awaited his turn in a casting call, he suddenly heard the casting director yell, "Curt Dempster!" and as he rose to his feet the room began to spin. Thump. The next thing he knew he was staring at the ceiling.
Speaking of stage fright, I have a recurring nightmare about being backstage on opening night and suddenly realizing that I have not the faintest idea what I'm supposed to say when the curtain goes up. I begin frantically looking for a script, thinking maybe I can memorize pages of text in less than five minutes. The rest of the cast is perfectly at ease, and I wonder if they have been rehearsing behind my back.
These are the kinds of fears that plague even seasoned performers.
Korongo members Margaret Freeman Osha and Ruth Hill Small live in the small village of Brookfield, Vermont, but they barely knew each other until they were invited to give a joint reading at Brookfield's Old Town Hall several months ago. Last weekend, Margaret gave a half-hour presentation at the Vermont Antiquarian Booksellers annual fair in Rochester, Vermont, and Ruth went to support her, as did Korongo member Sylvia Cooley. I asked Ruth to report on the event.
Ruth is a wonderful writer—honest, decent, thoughtful, and naturally funny in that understated way for which Vermonters are famous; her book "The Iceman's Daughter" perfectly captures her voice and spirit. What she sent me in response to my request for a blog post about Margaret's presentation is in part a personal account of the fear that a speaking gig can provoke and the friendship that grew out of that shared experience.
One of the ideas behind Korongo is that as fellow writers and artists, we are stronger when we band together. In fact, many of us are better at promoting the work of our colleagues than we are at self-promotion. Ruth and Margaret exemplify this help-thy-neighbor tradition so typical of our small Vermont towns and villages. They make me proud.
—Sara Tucker
Margaret and Me
I went to my first book fair today. I had never been to a book fair before, but my friend Margaret Osha was going to give a talk about her book that was being published soon, and so I thought I should attend and give her support, as I would have needed it if I was giving a talk about the book I was publishing.
When I published my book I was nowhere near ready to appear in public and talk about the book. I had no idea that publishing a book would automatically label me as fair game for someone needing to fill their program. No way! I did not know that was part of the deal.
My first ever request came from Tina O’Donnell, who was putting together a program for the West Brookfield Christmas Eve program at the old church in West Brookfield. She called and asked,,”Do you have something Christmasy in the book that you could read at the Christmas Eve program?” I didn’t. The only thing that might fit in was a chapter called “The Sliding Hill” or one called “The Ice Pond.” They were not Christmasy, but they were wintry, and that was as close as I could come, if she thought they might fit in her program. Apparently they did, and Tina asked me to read “The Sliding Hill.” That actually
went great. I did not have to talk, just read something off the paper in front of me. Easy! All I needed to do was make sure I had my flashlight so I could see the paper.
My greatest fear was not speaking in public but that no one would come.
The first time I talked about my book, a nurse acquaintance called me up and asked if I would attend her organization’s meeting, the Sunrise Rotary Club, and give a talk about my book, just 15 minutes. What could I say? This was a fellow nurse asking me, and she lived on Wallace Hill Road! [Ed. note: The road is named for Ruth's father.]
So I said “OK, I guess I could do that.” Actually, I was sort of glad she asked, because one of the reasons I wrote the book in the first place was so people who lived on Wallace Hill Road would know who Wallace Hill was, and why the road was named after him. I had over a month to plan and practice my speech, and I was well prepared, and it went off just fine. I felt satisfied, and stood a little straighter. I had given a speech, and I did not faint!
A few months later I received a telephone call from a neighbor, saying a friend of hers had wanted her to ask me if I would give a Brookfield Old Town Hall presentation and talk about the book. I said I might if it was part of a group thing, with other authors there. It did not seem that was what she had in mind, so I figured it was not going to happen and forgot about it. In a few weeks she called again and said the presentation was going to be about local history, and Margaret Osha was going to be there (so I would not be alone) and would I participate? Well, my book was about Randolph history, and I know nothing
about Brookfield history, so I figured I would not fit in. We agreed that her friend should contact me herself so we could discuss it.
So Clotilde called and told me how she had read my book and thought I would fit in just fine. She considered my childhood experiences as “history.” That was what she wanted in the presentation, and Margaret was going to be part of it and give a talk on some of her experiences, so I reluctantly agreed. At least I would not be alone. My greatest fear was not in speaking in public but that no one would come. If Margaret was there, too, at least her family would probably be there, along with my family, so at least there would be somebody there.
What a life-changing event that was for me. I had given another speech, a big one this time, and I still did not faint!
I contacted Margaret to see if we could make plans about what we were going to say. It seemed that she was as much up in the air about just what we were to talk about as I was.
We had a couple of months to prepare, so I gave it a lot of thought. (Actually, it hung over my head.)
I began to look for anything in my experiences that would be relevant to Brookfield history. I settled on the ice harvest information. Brookfield always had a big thing about harvesting ice on the pond there, and part of my book was about our ice pond. Before they started their festival in Brookfield, they came to my mother’s house and bought some of Dad’s ice-cutting tools. I figured I could read the chapter called “The Ice Pond.”
So, Margaret and I pulled it together. My granddaughter came and sang one of her songs and then I talked about “The Music Gene.” I talked a bit about who I was, how I came to write a book about my childhood memories, and about my connection to the Brookfield ice harvest festival. I read the chapter “The Ice Pond,” then steered the presentation towards Margaret, and how one of her newspaper articles about Randolph’s town forest described part of our farm where I went after the cows, and then turned the mic over to Margaret for her part of the presentation.
What a life-changing event that was for me. I had given another speech, a big one this time, and I still did not faint! They even had my name, along with Margaret’s name, printed on the poster that they had outside!
By now I was beginning to feel like a pro. So when Sara said she was coming over from France and was going to have a group event to showcase the local authors whose books she had helped publish, I was calm, cool and collected. I thought through what I wanted to say, partially memorized it, and it went off just fine.
The next time Clotilde called and asked if I would participate at the Old Town Hall, an event
to talk about the old days (or history) and Margaret and others were already signed up, I went willingly this time.
Which brings me back to the Rochester book fair, organized by Sandy Lincoln, owner of The Bookery in Rochester, for the Vermont Antiquarian Booksellers Association. My friend Margaret was going to talk about her book. I wanted to be there to give her the support that she kad given me over there at The Old Town Hall, my first big talk. I never could have done that without her. This was going to be a big day for her too. I know she has given talks about her book to fellow writing-group members, but I think this was to be her first big book talk.
Margaret did just fine. Her public speaking experience showed through, and she presented like a pro. She read parts of her book and talked about her growing up on a farm in Northfield. At the end she asked the audience for questions, and danced around the floor, passing the mic to those who asked questions. It was like she did this every day. Well done, Margaret!
Korongo is now taking advance orders for A Farmhouse Notebook ($24.95 plus shipping). Publication is scheduled for October 15.
